"Who is to blame for Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage woes? TV? Viewers? Themselves? Some combination of all three?" I read this quote this morning in the Life section of the USAToday & couldn't just let it slide without a word. I would normally never write about someone's marriage problems. But, since they have chosen to publicly air their dirty laundry in front of the world, I feel there are some things that we can & should address.
Amy & I were two of the almost 10 million viewers who watched the season premier last Monday night. As a pastor, I deal with situations like this on a regular basis behind closed doors. But, it was so sad to watch this marital train wreck on national television with millions of viewers.
The quote from the USAToday reveals a major problem plaguing our world, shifting blame & making excuses. Many have said they can understand why Jon would want out because he has been berated & basically emasculated by his wife. I've watched the show for a season or two with Amy & I don't entirely disagree. Many probably feel that Kate is excused because of the stress of being the mom to eight young kids. (I can't imagine) This is the problem; Jon is excused...Kate is excused...someone or something else is always to blame.
Listen to these words from James 1:13-14, "Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."
Adam & Eve blamed God for their sin. Read Genesis 3. Adam said, "It wasn't my fault; it was the woman you gave me." It sounds like he is blaming Eve, but he's really blaming God. It was the woman "YOU" gave me. Eve said, "It wasn't my fault; it was the serpent." It sounds like she's blaming the serpent, but she's really blaming God. Who made the serpent? Rather than taking responsibility for their sin, they blamed God & that's been our MO ever since.
It's not my fault, I was born that way...my dad left when I was young & never had anything to do with me...it's just my personality...my mom allowed me to watch Barney & the Teletubbies when I was young...on and on and on. We excuse & shift blame & responsibility to someone or something else. And, since God is sovereign & the one who gave us our parents, circumstances, personality, etc, we're really blaming God when we make these excuses.
Back to the USAToday quote, "Who is to blame for Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage woes? TV? Viewers? Themselves? Some combination of all three?" Only one of these is the real answer, themselves. There are no excuses for sin. There is no one else to blame. We must look in the mirror & own our sin & mistakes & then confess & repent & receive forgiveness & restoration. Until we fully own it, we can't be fully restored.
Please pray for Jon & Kate. I have no idea why, but they've chosen to go through this very private problem in a very public way. And, yes, they did have a choice. I know what God wants to do & can do in their marriage. I always tell people who come to see me with marriage problems that if God can raise a dead man, He can definitely raise a dead marriage. But, both partners must be willing to own their stuff & not try to shift blame or responsibility.
Please pray for John & Kate Gosselin to allow God to what only He can do in their marriage.

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